Friday, November 11, 2011

Kid Stuff


I always feel like a kid when the holidays come around, and that reminds me that I’m not really a grown-up any other time anyways.  My life is filled with childish habits that I don’t want to, and probably can’t, get rid of.  Here’s to finding my inner child, even when life really wants me to grow up.
One. I still can’t figure out my hair most days.  I live in this big city full of gorgeous women who seem to have (among other things) perfect tresses.  I don’t get it.  Sometimes I stare at my hair in the bathroom mirror trying to just will it to become less mangled.  And there’s really only one way I know of to make it work; burn the crap out of it with a flatiron at a temp of 450 degrees.
Two. No less than eight hours after Halloween officially ends, (and only that long because I sleep in the mornings a bit) I begin making my Christmas Favorites.  Sugar cookies could be colorless, and holiday-less, but that’s not how I roll these days.  It’s all about red and green sprinkles, gingerbread men, and Christmas tree shapes from November 1 until about January 1.  Yeah, I pretend it’s still Christmas a couple days after the holiday technically ends.  I just can’t shake my joy of the season, what of it?  If you think Christmas comes too early every year, respectfully, you’re wrong.
Three. I watch old episodes of Spongebob Squarepants literally every single night before bed.  Don’t judge me; it’s soothing to be thinking about a happy sponge before falling asleep. For the record, I only watch episodes from the first three seasons.  After that, all of the whit fell out of the show and the guy who voices Spongebob changed his tone to something more annoying and stupid.
Four. I still kick things under my bed when I don’t want to clean.  My boyfriend is somewhat of a neat freak, and sometimes he forces cleaning sessions on me.  Luckily, he never looks under the bed.  Boy would he ever flip out and maybe faint.  This leads to a bigger problem; I hate cleaning so much that I occasionally boycott it just like I did when I was younger.  I constantly make excuses like “I really need to work on this 15 page paper that’s due in a month,” and then proceed to sit at my computer and play The Sims 3.
Five. After three and a half years living away from my parents, I secretly wish I had a good excuse to live with them forever.  Yeah, I might be ignoring all the annoying things about it, but the most important thing is this; I can bake and cook whatever the heck I want and I know that no matter what it is, my dad will ALWAYS wake up in the middle of the night and eat it. Hey, I need someone to clear space for me to bake more without feeling guilty.
Six. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life in two months when I graduate.  I mean, I know what I’d like to do, but let’s be real, getting paid to eat for no good reason probably isn’t going to happen.  I’ll have a degree so let’s just hope I can flip that into something that makes me enough money to feed my baking addiction, and enough money to pay someone to fix my hair.
Seven.  My diet.  I’m not so into this whole “fruits and veggies are good for you” nonsense.  I’m more into the “if you imagine your sixteenth sugar cookie will make you skinny, it’ll definitely happen,” kind of thing.
Basically what I’ve learned from all this self-reflection is that I have no good excuse for
my actions, but I don’t care.  I ate twenty pretzel M&Ms for breakfast today, so what? 

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